Ever wonder what kind of movie the Judd Apatow crew (The Forty-Year-Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Superbad) would make if they aimed squarely at the 15-year-old set? Me neither. But that is precisely what Drillbit Taylor is: the comedy of Superbad regressed a few years to be slightly more palatable, if no less “real,” to the mid-teen set. If nothing else, it’s refreshing to see that magic demographic (teenage boys) targeted explicitly, rather than implicitly. And isn’t it interesting that while Apatow shifts his focus chronologically forward (from relationships to marriage to starting a family), frequent Apatow star and writer of Superbad and Taylor Seth Rogen moves backward?

So who is Drillbit Taylor? He’s Owen Wilson, doing his “let’s be reasonable” voice in the role of a homeless man who may or may not be a veteran. A trio of high school freshmen (Nate Hartley as the skinny one, Troy Gentile as the fat one, David Dorfman as the nerdy one) hire Drillbit to protect them from high school bully Filkins (Alex Frost), a sociopath-in-training if ever there was one. Drillbit’s plan is to stay on as bodyguard just long enough to afford a ticket to Canada, his latest escape fantasy.

Yes, this is Romantic Comedy Plot #1A, retrofitted for a movie about teenage boys. (Hmm, did that sound creepy to anyone else?) Person enters into relationship under false pretenses, genuine attachment overshadows mercenary ambitions, falsehood is discovered, and the principals are separated and then united triumphantly. There’s even a romantic subplot between Drillbit and one of the school teachers (Leslie Mann) to mirror the formula.

The problem is that Drillbit Taylor isn’t very funny. The boys do not meet up with Taylor for approximately 30 hours, and when they do, the main thrust of the plot—the only reason anyone is there to see the movie at all—unfurls its rusty, well-worn chassis at a snail’s pace. Every Apatow and Rogen movie could benefit from some trimming, but none of them have been so obviously in need of editorial control.

Wilson is tailor-made for roles that require he act serious about being ridiculous, but few scenes just let him riff; for the most part he has to play off the boys (whose comedic talents simply aren’t up to task) or the laugh-free subplot involving Drillbit’s thieving homeless buddies.

But ultimately it comes down to the boys. Perhaps their casting is too perfect; in finding actors to portray kids at that most awkward stage of adolescence, the filmmakers have found three actors who are awkward to watch. The skinny one’s got some gumption, but the fat one’s got an abrasive Bronx personality and the nerdy one’s just grating. They do not possess the natural comic timing of Michael Cera or Jonah Hill from Superbad. Cera and Hill delivered lack of confidence with supreme confidence; Hartley, Gentile, and Dorfman come off as exactly what they are: young boys who want very badly to be funny. Perhaps ironically, Hartley is best when he plays it dramatic.

Movies like Drillbit Taylor are the hardest to write about. If it were actually terrible, I could work up a few hundred words of amusing vitriol. If it were made by people I disliked, that’d be good for another hundred words or more. But no. Drillbit is merely a mediocre movie made by talented people who have done better work. 15-year-old boys may like it just fine, but as Drillbit himself discovers, they don’t have nearly the pull movie marketers think they have.